And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You need a sexual gate keeper
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
