You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
