All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
