Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
