You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
