so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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