We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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