It's Friday. Sex?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
