those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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