I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize