she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
