I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
