69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
