He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
