I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
