I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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