you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she peed on how many people?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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