i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
