we have officially lost it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
