guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
