Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
