I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
