You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
