So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
