all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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