I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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