my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
