hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
