i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
