The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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