dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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