When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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