why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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