every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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