And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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