Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
