Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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