I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
