dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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