Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
