I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
