dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize