There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
