i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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