so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
