so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
