Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
