How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
