he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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