woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
