It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
