Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
