i was born a porn star she said
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
