She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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