i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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