I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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