Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Barsexuality is the new black.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
