Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
