I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
