I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize