please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
