I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize