So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
