good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just puked most of my soul out..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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