We're like a lot better than the average bears
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
