I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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