After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize